Sad Day

At 7:00 a.m. on Wednesday, Anita came to pick me up and we walked together to meet Vinod at Papa's House 2. Vinod was hoping to get a student visa and had to be at the U.S. Embassy at 8:00 a.m. for an interview. When we arrived at Vinod's room, Anita opened a bag and took out the shirt and pants that she had lovingly ironed for her brother so that he would make a good impression. He looked very handsome and professional after he put on his interview clothes and combed his hair. The three of us set off on a walk to the embassy full of excitement.


Upon arrival at the embassy, Vinod entered the compound to get in line, leaving Anita and me to wait across the street. On the way there, I had started feeling ill and, concerned that I was dehydrated, I made Anita help me find a place to buy water (most stores were not open yet). I then left her and crossed the street (thankfully there was little traffic and it was easy) in the hope that I could use the embassy's bathroom. I was glad that I had brought my passport along. It surprised me to see that all of the guards and administrative people who deal with the public are Nepali. I always thought that everyone who works in an embassy has to be a citizen of the relevant country, but, obviously, I was wrong.


I returned to Anita, who was stationed in the same spot where she patiently remained standing for the entire time that we were there, and sat nearby on a curb. Anita stood at her post, occasionally answering her cell phone and saying "He is not coming yet", while I drank water and put my head in my lap. I was a little concerned that having a headache and feeling nauseous meant that I was already dangerously dehydrated and I thought that I should grab a taxi (if that was even possible) and head back to the volunteer house. I kept thinking that Vinod would be out in a minute, however, and I wanted to be there for him regardless of the result, so I stayed where I was. As time marched on and we saw other people coming out of the embassy, we knew that the fact that it was taking so long was not a good sign. Nonetheless, we remained hopeful as we continued to see other people emerging with smiles on their faces. I peeled away my jacket and sweater as Kathmandu transitioned from cold to boiling hot.


While I was sitting and waiting, I had the surreal sensation that I was in the middle of a movie: Because it is the dry season and because she felt like being a little creative, the director decided to eschew the tired Hollywood device of using a rainstorm to reflect what was happening inside the embassy. Instead, she foreshadowed the bad news by showing the American volunteer waiting outside, growing sicker and sicker (sad music soundtrack and clips of Vinod's American friends and would be sponsors in North Carolina, sitting around a prematurely purchased celebration cake, to be edited in later).


When Vinod finally appeared at about 9:30, it was heartbreaking. So full of hope and joy only an hour and a half earlier, his dark eyes were now clouded with pain and sorrow. Though I knew that he could not be faking it, I clung to the hope that he was teasing us and that he would soon break out the big smile that I have grown to love. As he approached us, however, he only shook his head "no" sadly and began a silent walk home.

I had thought that I wouldn't be able to walk, but by that time, I had taken something to ease my headache and moving out of the blazing sun to walk in the shade made me feel a little better. When we arrived at Papa's House 2, the boys, having no idea what was going on, greeted us with their usual cheer. They seemed a little surprised and confused by Daddy's weak response. As Vinod ascended the stairs to his room, with Anita and me trailing behind, a number of perplexed eyes followed us. We sat together, mostly in silence, with little faces occasionally peering in, trying to figure out what was happening. I wanted so much to say something comforting, but everything that came to mind seemed so trite. What do you say to someone whose big dreams for his future have suddenly been squashed? I believe that Vinod will eventually triumph, but I understand why, at this moment, it is difficult for him to share my optimism. He lives in a world where most people have hard lives and no opportunities -- where even those who work hard get beaten down again and again. It is easy to understand how he could believe that this was his only chance and I can only hope that all of the love and support that he has from the children, his sisters, and his many friends at Nepal Orphans Home will get him through this difficult time and sustain him until a new door opens.


Eventually, Anita said that it was time for us to go. I hugged Vinod, said something that was meant to be comforting, but which I knew was not, and went back to the volunteer house, where I spent the rest of the day in bed. In the end, I think that I just had a migraine and wasn't dehydrated at all.