Vinod is the son of dirt poor parents who worked themselves to the bone to send him to school. He has three younger sisters, one of whom got married at the age of 16. As he saw how hard his parents were working and the physical problems that they were having as a result, Vinod could not bear for them to continue killing themselves to give him an education. At the time, he was living next to Papa's House (which I think was then at a different location), he saw what was going on there, and he wanted to be a part of it. So he approached Michael one day and asked for a job. He told Michael that he did not need any money, he just wanted to live and work there. Michael agreed and Vinod moved his parents to a farm, where their lives would be a little bit easier (that doesn't sound so easy to me, but it is what he said).
Michael was very much impressed with Vinod's work and, when he had to take a trip to the U.S., he asked Vinod to keep an eye on things for him and keep him informed about what was happening at Papa's House. Vinod emailed Michael such great reports that, when he returned to Nepal, Michael told Vinod that he wanted to compensate him for his excellent work and he asked what Vinod wanted. Vinod again said that he did not need any money. He explained, however, that his family was very poor and that he had two sisters at home who were not being educated. What he wanted was for Michael to allow his sisters to live at Papa's House and go to private school with the other children. Michael readily agreed, but Vinod's parents did not. Like many Nepalese, they did not see any reason for girls to go to school. Wanting desparately to give his sisters this great opportunity, Vinod pleaded with his parents for a week, until they finally relented. Now he says, his parents are very proud of him for bringing his sisters to Papa's House. It is difficult to imagine any parent not being proud of him.
Vinod's 19 year old sister, Anita, is every bit as sharp, competent, kind, and determined as her brother. Michael says that she is now the discplinarian in the girls house, so he gets to just be the "nice parent", which he loves. When the kamlari girls arrived at the new Papa's House 3 a couple of weeks ago, Anita became their "Hostel Warden", doing the same job with them that Vinod has been doing with the boys. I know that she will be fantastic in this role. Anita's quieter and extremely sweet fraternal twin, Sunita, is still in school. I haven't gotten to know her as well as her siblings and I don't know what she will do when she finishes her education. What I do know is that she is clearly happy and will have a better life because of her brother and Michael. As I saw the two sisters sitting happily together when we were at a park with the older girls, I found it difficult to imagine them living the lives that they would have been living if they had not been able to come to Papa's House.
For me, Vinod, Anita, Sunita and the children cared for by Nepal Orphans Home represent the faces of the millions of children all over the world who will never reach their potentials simply because they are born into unlucky circumstances. In his book, Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell writes about the role that good luck plays in determining which people become superstars. I haven't actually read the book, but I heard him speak about how if Bill Gates and Steve Jobs were born at a different time or grew up in different parts of the U.S., we would not have Microsoft and Apple. To say this takes nothing away from their genius and hard work. It simply points to the fact that genius or talent and a willingness to work hard are not enough -- it is also necessary to have luck and opportunity. How many kids around the world have the ability to make amazing contributions to business or science or entertain us with their enormous talents, but will never do so because they are growing up in poverty or living in place where people do not believe that girls should be educated? Even among those who would not, under any circumstances, be superstars and household names, there are so many who could be successful and make meaningful contributions. The numbers of children who will never have the opportunity to reach their potentials takes on a whole new meaning when you actually see some of their faces and get to know them as individuals.
But back to Vinod . . . . These days I understand that he is making a small (by American standards) salary, but apart from keeping a little pocket change, he gives all of it to his parents. He drives a motorcycle that was a gift from someone affiliated with Nepal Orphans Home. Having a motorcycle makes it easier for him to do his job and, I think, enabled him to take a computer course at a school some distance from Papa's House. When he thought that he would be able to take advantage of an opportunity to study in the U.S., Vinod told me that he planned to sell the motorcycle and give the money that he received for it to the people who gave it to him -- the same people who were going to pay all of his tuition and living expenses. He also told me that, when he went to the U.S., he wanted to take the cheapest flight possible, regardless of how long it would take for him to get there or how many stops he had to make, because he didn't want his sponsors to have to spend any more money than was absolutely necessary. Vinod appreciates and is willing to accept help from others, but he will not take any more than exactly what he needs.
During out discussion, Vinod explained that he believes that happiness comes from doing things for others. He also says that what you do is what makes you a person, not what you have. In fact, he considers that he actually wasn't a person until he came to Papa's House and started taking care of the boys there. Until then, he says, he wasn't a person because he wasn't doing anything for anyone. I pointed out to him that he was only about 16 when he came here -- still a child himself --but he said that in his mind that is irrelevant. He concedes that he would probably like to have a nice car, a big television, etc., but he doesn't believe that such things will bring him happiness. "I am a poor man", he says, "but I am happy because I work for others". He thinks that rich people in the U.S. who are unhappy need to get involved in helping people.
Vinod also explained to me that he believes that we all have the power to change others by the way that we treat them. He said that a child once came to him and complained that a little girl wouldn't speak to him. Vinod told the child that if the girl wouldn't speak to him, it was his own fault. He advised the boy to smile and say hello to her every day. The boy did this and eventually the girl started speaking to him. Vinod also told me about Bhumika, a little girl at Papa's House who has cerebral palsy. When she arrived here, she could not walk (she used her hands) or communicate at all. Vinod spent time with her every day, encouraging her to stand upright and walk until she finally did. He said that in the place that she lived before, she was never taken anywhere or included in things. But at Papa's House, when the children went on a picnic, for example, someone would carry her so that she could go and be part of it. Also, she used to clap her hands and try to sing "Mary had a little lamb", but she didn't know the words. So everyone sat in a circle and sang "Mary had a little lamb" over and over until finally she got it. Now Bhumika is much more communicative, she attends school, and hers is one of the first smiles you see when the procession of girls goes by on their way to school. "So you see", Vinod, told me, "we all have the power to change people".
Particularly given the limited time that I have to write, I cannot convey how extraordinary Vinod is. There are times when you can see the little boy in him, but he is also very much a man and wise beyond his years. Strong and masculine, he is also sweet and gentle and has an enormous heart. He has virtually nothing, yet he is among the most generous people I have ever met. Single women all over America are looking for men like him.
I have decided that when I get home, I am going to start a new business selling package tours to Nepal to a niche market: Women will purchase tours for their boyfriends, husbands, or men with whom they would like to be in serious relationships. The men will only be told that they will be visiting the Papa's House homes to volunteer a little bit and then going on an amazing trek. In reality, however, they will be attending an "intensive immersion course" (womanspeak) or "bootcamp" (manspeak) taught by Michael and Vinod called: "How to make them happy: What women want". When they go on the trek, they will be led by guides who are specially trained to subtly reinforce the lessons taught by Michael and Vinod and assist the men with behavior modification. When the men return home, they will know only that they had an incredible vacation and will have no idea why all of the problems in their relationships have suddenly disappeared. Being men, they will just accept and be happy about the change and have absolutely no interest in discussing or analyzing how it happened. So everybody wins!!! What do you say ladies? Any takers?
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